Tuesday 8 May 2007

Why I wish political unspeak would work for me

"Who needs love" the group Razorlight may have sang, but the unfortunate answer to that at the moment is "Not two student nurses". As the pressures of my university work and the pressures of a placement mounted up for my girlfriend, my better half has decided we should call it a day. Great. Though, far from the hostile event this may seem, I am still very good friends with the girl, so not too bad. Of course there is the ever present apologising to be done for things, but I began thinking while on the way in this morning about the ways we always seem to have to apologise for things. Then I was thinking how as a staff nurse you are not supposed to apologise for something going wrong but apologise more for the event occurring. As I am still obsessing over the teaching of a first year student, I wondered with the political unspeak way the politico's speak about things how it would work on the ward:
"Mr Smith, I fully regret that you do not understand why there was a delay and how we were unable to treat you straight away when you began to have pain, but I regret this was during a busy time for the ward and was not convenient for us."
See, the patient has a problem, and we simply twist it so it seems like the patients fault for being in pain when the nurse was busy. Problem solved.
Oh, hang on, of course it damn well isn't!
So, I have to put up with political rubbish like this for when I qualify, but I try and do my job right. Which has cost me debt, 2 1/2 years of my life, lord knows how many hours, and now a relationship. So much for being honest and hard working, so, to take a direct political spin on all those who have been offended (and my now ex-Girlfriend)
"I have expressed a degree of regret that can be equated with an apology!".

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