I may have mentioned that I was approached some months back now by the ward sister where I am on. I was told there was a post upcoming and to apply for it. I did. I also applied for 6 other posts over the last 5 weeks. There have been replies from... none. To make matters worse, I have been told that the interview for the ward I am on is being held on Thursday. I only knew because another student asked me if I had an interview. I do not.
Bloody great. I am at the point where I am increasingly looking at finishing the course but having no job to work in. This is annoying. I used to like what I do, but over the past two weeks I have grown to hate the job. Everything just seems to wind up with me being pissed off in extremis, and wanting to bite some buggers head off. This is not healthy. The real problem is that I have been in the sphere of nursing for 3 years now, and I am still waiting for the first good thing to happen to me. I am really beginning to question my faith in humanity, myself, and am asking myself the same questions:
Did I make a mistake choosing nursing?
Will there ever be any hope in anything?
Is there not some other profession which I may be better suited for?
If there was something to work toward then I think that would restore my mood to better levels. I have always worked hard, had good rapport with my patients and put myself personally out of the way in the name of the job. All I have got back is goose egg. I knew when I set out that being a female dominated profession that I would be outnumbered on the ward. The only thing now is that no bugger talks to me, and half the time with conversations on make up and other female-only talk, I just feel like I am all alone, even when there are loads of people around you. That sucks. I honestly do not have the self confidence or belief to go on anymore. I have got nothing left.
I'm cooked.
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4 comments:
I think you are awesome. I would hire you in a heartbeat if I had the power. The RN's on my ward are excellent and we do not eat our young.
There is just way too much competition.
When my dad came out of grad school with top grades and an MBA on top of a degree in economics it took him 13 applications and 7 interviews to land a job. He got a good job and is retiring next month as their CEO. This is normal for other fields.
People who come out of school with degrees in IT, Economics, and aeronautical engineering expect this. Nurses do not.
It's not you. There is too much competition. I think you and I need to get together and snort some prozac.
You have come into a tough tough field but things will get better and we DO need you!
Thanks for the kind words Anne. I have so far applied for 15 jobs in my local area. I know it is competition. The good news is that I have been asked if I would be interested to act as a nurse attendant with my St John Ambulance division who are now doing an agency agreement with North East Ambulance service doing hospital transfer's and minor 999 calls. Seeing as I did an ICU transfer training day and have my Ambulance Aid knowledge and Nursing qualification, it will provide at leat 2 or 3 shifts from 6pm-2am every week.
I just really want to Nurse, the one thing that winds me up is that throughout my Nurse training I was praised for my high level of knowledge and skill, and all I will end up with is... nothing but three years wasted.
Please don't give up.
Did you make a mistake choosing nursing? Well, you're the only one who can answer that. Are you just feeling that way because you're in a rough patch? If you've hung in till this point there must be something you love about nursing.
Will there ever be hope in anything? Absolutely. As someone who trained in Thatchers NHS I can't tell you the amount of times I went home crying and feeling hopeless. Fast forward a couple of decades and I'm living 3 minutes walk from a beach in Sydney. There were times - many times - I wanted to give up and work for British Telecom (I have no idea why!!!) but I stuck it out and things got better.
Is there another profession you're suited for? No one is saying you have to stay in nursing, give it a few years and see if anything grabs your interest. You could do something else health related like physio or OT or move out completely. But give it a while.
As for your current predicament, have you been back to the sister and asked her why you were not shortlisted? It seems only fair to ask since she encouraged you to apply. Be extra nice, it'll make her squirm.
It's not a waste of three years. Think of all you've learned. Think about the difference you have made to peoples lives. Think of all those sessions in the pub!
Don't give up.
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