Insommnia

Hmmm: 01:29 and I am wide awake.

I really do seem to be loosing sleep over these past few months with the course. I am starting to worry about this. I am not really what you call finaincially well off at the moment, what with only having £40 left of the overdraft to access. I need to take £10 out later today so thats £30 to last me till Friday when the bursary arrives (at least I hope it arrives).

Then I have the essays looming over me. I was not like this before, I have no problem with essays, normally get at least a high 50 mark though normally was in the high 60's. The problem is the research essay as I know how much weight this carries and thats a big worry. I am more then prepared to make a dedication to Nursing. I have shown this dedication by keeping on with Nursing despite having numerous occasions where a lesser person may have walked away and not thourght of a second return. I have been threatened with withdrawl following a failed essay (MITS gained) which happend because of a death of a baby (another event), have felt socially isolated in some placements and have been through so very low times, left a job as a deputy manager to a large buisiness (with the attendant high wage). Yet here I still am, plugging away quietly. Too tired to do much work on the essay, yet not tired enough to fall asleep. I am beginning to feel drained by all the extra pressures from outside the course getting piled ontop of the pressure a university course gives.

I was always glad to get out after the 8 week theory block and be on placement. I did say that having a 20 week theory time would be hard...turns out it was wearing more then anything.